A classic from the Bar Bitch

Dear everyone who has or shall act like an ass to an employee of any
establishment:
Without any preamble or unnecessary set up to drive my point, I shall
merely begin with this: you, the customer, are in a very precarious
and potentially unhealthy or unpleasant situation waiting to happen.
You see, waiters and bartenders have access to the food and beverages
that you will place into you mouth and allow passage to your gullet.
Retail employees have access to your personal financial information
when you hand them your credit card. Parking lot attendants may watch
over your car just as easily as turning a blind eye. Bank tellers
handle your paycheck and bills and nest eggs. I could go, but i think
I've made my point here.
There is no solidarity among the working class, so just because -for
example-you are a server who goes out to be waited on by another
server this does not mean all is forgiven when you act like a
pretentious and overbearing shit. more than likely, this means you
will either be given visine in your cocktail or -and this is my
favorite- a used or dirty straw. the best revenge after all, is a
subtle and secret revenge.
dear customers worldwide, we bring you your food. your drinks. you
voluntarily give us access to your digestive and immune systems on a
weekly basis and if you think we are unaware of this power, then think
again. Do not believe that a sturdy and pious moral fiber prevents a
serving class individual from exacting a type of payback upon you for
grievous errors in manners and social etiquette. this is not 1758;
there is no such thing as a loyal servant.
one serving job is much like another and therefore we are all at any
given time willing to risk losing the current job in lieu of
physically harming a customer who has crossed the line and for
example: has sexually assaulted us or threatened our lives or just
generally pissed us off. as an aside to kronick: tell me who this guy
PJ is and I'll make sure he drinks smoker's loogies for a long while.
in summation...be nice to your server or checkout person or launderer.
say please and thank you to your gas pump attendant or your hair
stylist or your karaoke coordinator. you'll never know when we've
licked our finger and stuck it in your rib eye or around the rim of
your martini UNLESS you can be certain that you haven't pissed us off.
thank you.